EARTH - Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message.
"They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?" -
Source - The Onion - Read full article
Unfortunately, Mr. Gore is probably unaware of Barack Obama's bold proclamation, the one he made on the night he won his party's nomination.
On that momentous occasion, Senator Obama boldly proclaimed: "I am absolutely certain that generations from now we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal. "
If only Mr. Gore had heard those words emanating from the great Messiah, surely he would never have sent off his only child to outer space and abandon him to the distant galaxies. For indeed, our planet will soon be healed and all of humanity will once again be at peace, thanks to our glorious Messiah, Barack Obama.
Woe to us for not informing the Goracle of our great Messiah's joyous proclamation, for we will never be the same again now that the Goracle's son is no longer among the Earth's inhabitants.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment